Random Thought #3

Life will throw obstacles in your way when you least expect it. Step over them, kick them to the side, laugh in their face. You can succeed in times of inequity because you are a beautiful human being and because you deserve satisfaction.

Make things happen...

I'll let you into my dreams if you let me into yours.

Sweet Dreams. Beautiful Nightmares. Free Falls.

I started to think about how we assign meaning to people and how we determine which people in our lives we allow into our hearts. The more I think about it and the more I consider my life as a whole and those people I really care about, I understand that life is just one big risk.

We take a risk with people and there are two possible outcomes: you can either have a "sweet dream" or a "beautiful nightmare". Either way, we learn things from the situations we put ourselves in and everything seems to work itself out in the end. Hearts can break. Love can grow. But it takes strength and a little bit of insanity to take that first initial jump, to go ahead and take the risk of allowing someone into your heart.

Every night I rush to my bed - With hopes that maybe Ill get a chance to see you - When i close my eyes - Im going out of my head - Lost in a fairytale - Can you hold my hands and be my guide

Once you jump, you are in a free fall - one which you cannot stop or "wake up from" that is...until it ends. And you know what, sometimes the landing isnt as hard as we make it out to be. Maybe for once, we might fall into the arms of someone who loves us.

I personally do not care to be in a relationship at the moment. I am having a blast getting to know myself and having fun and being a young, single, beautiful woman!!! But, if I were to come across the right individual, I suppose wouldn't be completely opposed to the idea/concept of taking that risk....of opening my heart to them - but they sure as hell have to be worth it.

I mention you when I say my prayers - I wrap you around around all of my thoughts - Boy you're my temporary high - I wish that when I wake up youre there - To wrap your arms around me for real - And tell me youll stay by side

Tattoo your name across my heart - So it will remain - Not even death can make us part - What kind of dream is this?

So my friends, take a risk. Close your eyes. Allow yourself to have a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare. Don't hold out for Mr.Perfect all the time. Have a little fun. Be adventurous and who knows, you just might find someone wonderful. Someone you don't want to wake up from. But GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE!!! I have been, and I love every minute of it!

Big ups to all my single ladies holding it down out there.... we rock!

I am SavvyBoricua: Mind, Body and Soul. This is my blog.

Boy, you are my daydream...

Honey
An educated man
So fine, so smooth
You bring out the fire in my heart

Tall
Muscular
Carmel skin running over smooth abs
Sweat beading over your body

Smile
Sparkling eyes
I dream about you
I crave you

Togetherness
I love it
Understanding
We have it

Touch
Soft caress
My passion - ignited
You - the match

Being a business professional woman is not always easy...

People, circumstances and situations can only set you back if you allow them to. It takes a strong individual to determine what can and will navigate their life. Be assertive and take charge of who you are and where you want to go - your future is your responsibility and with the right mindset obstacles can be obliterated. ~PMarie

Brainstorm: Illusion, Reality, Imbruglia, Dolls

Natalie Imbruglia said it best when she said,

"Illusion never changed into something real. Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn".

I realized that what I wanted out of life, what I wanted from relationships and what I wanted from myself was nothing but a big illusion. When I think I finally get what I have been asking for, I run. I run because I don't want to feel the shame and admit to myself that what I wanted is no longer what I want. What I hoped for is no longer what I wish, and that my desires have materialized into nothing more than an illusion.

I don't really know how I feel right now. Usually I write about thoughts that have already been developed and I try to give insight and hope to others. But, I suppose now is a time that I have to admit to you all that I am painfully human. I too, am lost. I too, am looking for answers. I too, am constantly developing into a more complete person - but at this moment I feel like im in a black hole. A place where I have no where to turn to, no one to wipe my tears, no one to look for advice. I - am here - alone.

When I think about the grand illusion - life - I realize that nothing really becomes real until you experience it and nothing is greater than what you make it.

"So I guess the fortune tellers right. Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light".

I think some of us have a tendency to hold on to ideals and expectations of ourselves and of others. I think we have this innate ability to create fantastical perceptions of what life should ultimately be and then spend every waking moment trying to create reality from a fantasy. But truthfully, fantasy and reality are two separate things and cannot therefore morphologically become intertwined or converted. I guess what I am trying to say is - we need to stop investing so much time and energy into developing our individual realities into perfect little worlds.

It is time that we.... It is time that I take a step back and allow things to unfurl as they should. My illusions will never manifest as reality; my fantasies will not become truths, unless I am willing to allow life to flow effortlessly and without interference.

Finding the strength to relinquish all power in the direction of your life is a strong test of faith. Understanding what to do at the final destination is a test of character. Rebuild yourself with illusion but uncover the truth in your reality.

I hope this somewhat made sense to you all.... if not, thanks for letting me share my thoughts in this confusing time.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

I am SavvyBoricua: Mind, Body and Soul. This is my blog.

4 Seasons: It's clean up time...

There is something rejuvenating about throwing things away. Its like being held underwater for what seems an eternity and finally being able to come up for air. Your chest filled with a joy that cannot be expressed in mortal words. Your mind, finally getting the oxygen and freedom it so desperately needed.

Today, as I went to my apartment in Ann Arbor to move out the last of my things, I was forced to confront old memories. They came in the form of photos, birthday cards, gifts and trinkets. Symbols of a past life. Symbols of an era that came and went. Symbols of what I was, but nothing pertinent enough to have an affect on what I am to become.

As I perused through my menagerie of sorts, I began to have flashbacks. Some of my flashbacks made me smile and others, were more like nightmares. I thought of the tears I cried. I thought of the nights I lost sleep. I thought of the moments that I held on to these trinkets as if they were the magic key that would bring me back to what I thought was complete and total happiness. I held on to these things for so long. Pictures, fotos, poems, letters. I held on to them thinking that if I kept trying, things would work in my favor.

But, I stopped trying. After a while it was exhausting to keep up with the hope of something that was not going to happen. It was exhausting to continue giving so much of myself into something that was not giving back. It was exhausting to continue having hope in a dream that was no longer possible. So I let go. I pushed it all away in the back of my closet, hidden in a box - thinking that by hiding it, I would not have to deal with the emotions - but I was wrong.

Not only did I realize just how highly favored I am, I also realized that I did eventually have to deal with the emotions attached to these items. But to my delight, my emotions weren't of sadness, grief or regret. My emotions were of the positive variety; light, airy, excited and relieved. And when it came right down to it, I told myself, "Paula, you can either keep all of this as a constant reminder of the struggle you faced or you can get rid of it and finally move on with your life." Well, lets just say that as I tore those pictures in half and threw them into the garbage - my heart smiled and said "All is well Paula, now you have grown". And at that moment, I knew that although my struggles will no longer be physically represented in my life, I have the knowledge that I faced them, I conquered them and I continued forward in my pursuit of love, happiness and self-assurance.

I guess what I am trying to communicate with you all is that sometimes life just doesn't work out the way that we plan for it. Sometimes we are confronted with certain obstacles and have to make the tough decisions. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how fast or slow you tackle these things. What matters is that you realize who you are, what you need, what you are willing to put up with and to then make your decisions accordingly. Today, I was finally emotionally ready to let go of things that others would have thrown away months ago. But, having chosen to do this on my own terms and in my own time gave me both personal satisfaction and control over a life that only a couple of months ago was quickly spiraling down the drain.

So, women and men out there....It's time to clean out your closet. Think about what may have affected you that you still have not been able to let go. Consider what you may still be holding on to. Think about what you are honestly willing to put up with. And slowly, in your own time, let it go. Your reconnection with yourself is long awaited and definitely well deserved. Like I have said before, "Be your own breath of fresh air. Fill your lungs with hope. Fill your heart with satisfaction".

My name is SavvyBoricua: Mind, Body and Soul - This is my blog.