Random Thought #2

You are a beautiful individual. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your heart. Think clearly. Be aggressive. The beauty of the world will soon thereafter arrive at your side. ~PMarie.

My Strength Is Made of Heartache

My strength is made of heartache.
I - the lone rose that sprouted from the concrete.
My home -trampled under the masses.
My beauty - overlooked.

Regardless, I sprouted, I blossomed, I flourished - because my strength is made from years of pain, from countless promises broken, from endless battles fought.

My strength is made of tears sprinkled on my face like fresh morning dew.

My strength is made of heartache, an uncomfortable but welcomed aqcuaintance because without it, strength of this caliber would not exist.

I don't ever halt in the face of adversity. I smile, I breathe deeply and I proceed. Because the only way out is UP and when you start from the bottom you can't be afraid to fall.

Self

Motivation: There comes a time when we must realize that the things we want are not always the things we need. There is a courage that comes with recognizing what should remain in your life and what needs to be discarded. Tackle your fears and become your own hero. Stand up and find yourself in the midst of all the chaos and know that Love comes in various forms - be open; be willing. ~PMarie

Question of the day - How can we find comfort in others or in objects when we can so very rarely find comfort within ourselves? What is it about us, our bodies, our minds, our spirits that terrify us so much? This constant need to be connected to others, connected to our iPods, connected to the internet - what is this saying about the people we have become?

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What makes you happy?
2. What is your favorite thing to do alone?
3. How much time do you spend alone daily (on average)
4. What activities do you do alone on a daily basis?
5. What makes you feel most secure?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being most anxious and 1 being least anxious) how do you feel when you are completely alone.
7. If you had to choose between having a private day for yourself and hanging out with a group of people that you don't particularly like, which would you choose and why?

Through these questions, try to determine what it is about you or about your surroundings that makes you feel vulnerable. Once you determine what that is, I challenge you to confront that obstacle head on and conquer it. I know you can do it! Once you do, please come back and in the comment box feel free to share your story! Or, if you have already gone through a similar process, I would love to hear from you as well!

You Wish You Had a Woman Like Me

If you are single, you know that sometimes dating sucks. You meet a guy/girl and you get excited because finally you have found someone who is attractive, who has goals and who you can have decent conversation with (which is hard when the dating pool is filled with so many douche-like individuals).

But, right when you are getting comfortable - right when you feel like you can actually start to like this guy they say - "Paula (or insert your name here), I feel like you like me more than I like you - I think it's best if we cool our jets". You hear the sound of screeching tires in your head and you think, what the he**? I just started to kind of like you - how the heck can I be liking you too much? I hardly called you. I let you invite me places. I rarely texted you. Is it cuz I called you "Babe"? Did that set it off? If so, thats a bad reason - I call all my close guy friends babe...its a word...means nothing. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

And you know what - it's just the fear talking. Its a fear that whatever may have been developing was actually kind of nice and if they were to give in that means they can't enjoy that "play on playa!!!" status anymore... That's cool... I get it... my brain isnt made of jello.

But, will I sit around and wait for them to come back??? Hellll no!

Why not?
Because I am too young, too beautiful, too intelligent, too independant, too cool of a chick, too eager to meet people and too good for that.

You may call it cocky but I call it confident. And you know, any man would be lucky to have a woman like me. Shit, any man would be lucky to have a woman like you too!!! But, if its not in the cards its just not in the cards and I'm not about to be the idiot trying to fit a square piece into a triangular hole...mmm no thanks...

So, with that being said - please enjoy the following "You Wish You Had a Woman Like Me" ~P.Marie



You wish you had a woman like me
Mad salsa dancing, high heel wearing, long hair flowing hipswaying diva.
A woman who can stand on her own two feet
So strong in my position, its impossible to knock me down.

You wish you had a woman like me
Intelligent, savvy, witty, remarkable
Always learning something new
Striving to impress myself moreso than to impress you.

You wish you had a woman like me
a nuturer, a sweetheart, a woman with fire in my heart
always flashing my beautiful smile
in hopes that you fall in love with my soul - not my body.

You wish you had a woman like me
Professional, athletic, classy, an all around all-star
In the office and at home
I fight for what I want - and I get it.

You wish you had a woman like me
But when you finally get me - you let me go.
My strength scares you
My intelligence makes you tremble
My sheer happiness to be with you makes you unsure
of how happy you could truly be.

But thats okay.
You wish you had a woman like me.
And sometimes, I wish I had a man like you
But ...
I
Know
Better




Thanks all,
SavvyBoricua: Mind, Body and Soul

Random Thoughts

It's not what you see, but what you believe.
It's not what you hear, but what you understand.
It's not where you've been, but where you intend to go.



You are the waves. I am the shore. When you crash into me, it makes sense.



Truth lies within the hearts of life soldiers. Those willing to fight for what matters. Those who do not back down from the tough obstacles. It is within these individuals that the fire is lit. That the magificent amber flickers in the darkness of their pasts to illuminate the hope of their tomorrows. Be a life soldier...fight for yourself, find your truth.

Why I decided to start...

Hello all,

So I decided to finally develop my own blog. One of the main reasons being that I wanted a more personal space to really showcase not only my writing but also my thoughts as I go through this new stage in my life.

As some of you may know I experience a traumatic ending to a serious relationship I was in at the beginning of the year. I was suicidal. I lost a lot of weight. I had no self-worth. I almost did not graduate college. I allowed this man - scratch that - this boy to destroy who I was as a human being and put me in such a dark and dismal place that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But you know, I accept some of that responsibility. I accept the fact that he did this to me because in a way, I allowed him to.

I thought more with my heart than with my brain - to a fault. I allowed myself to love totally and unfortunately blindly and as a result I took the risk of having my heart broken.

It was with the strong, encouraging words of my sisters, the emotional support of my Sorors who stayed up with me until 3-4 in the morning as I cried, my Mother who spent weeks living in my studio apartment waking me up for classes, feeding me, forcing me to get adequate sleep and my dear friends who through the miles answered my 2 AM phone calls when I would have a break down that got me through.

There came a point where I felt like I was too much of a burden on those around me. I felt as though my crying had reached a level that was not only detrimental to myself but to those that I loved. Sitting in class listening to lectures on cocontraction and reciprocal inhibition I would burst out into tears. My only outlet - writing.

I carried a small journal with me to my classes. In the times that I felt I wanted to leave class and never return I would discretely take out my journal and begin to write furiously. I wrote my emotions. I wrote pain, anger, sorrow, frustration, worry, fear, confusion. I wrote apology letters pleading for him to come back. And slowly over time, those letters became more centered on how angry and spiteful I was. And then as more time passed those letters were pretty much themed, "Top Million Reasons why your ex fucked up". And as time went on I felt better, and I needed that journal less and less...

It was partially because I started to surround myself with older individuals that had careers and had goals and were achieving great things in their life. Part of it was that I got psychological counseling for my depression. And part of it was that I finally realized that the greatest love of all, was the love I provided myself.

So although the theme of my writing has changed immensely, I have not turned my back on writing. Now, I use it as a tool to remind myself that I am not alone. I put my opinions online in the hopes that someone can relate to what I say. I put myself out there so that others can know that someone understands their struggle. I put my words on the internet in the hopes that I can offer myself a new flavor of enlightenment that will carry me into higher understanding of who I am and who I would like to become.

I may not have the greatest diction. I may not have the syntax or the grammar. But this is me. I write. I live. I breathe. I love like no other.

I, am SavvyBoricua:Mind Body and Soul. Welcome to my blog.